Family Counseling Information and Resources
Below are some books on subjects that you may find helpful. Please note that if you are hurting, you are encouraged to seek counseling both with your church and a licensed counselor. Please contact our pastor by email by clicking here, so that he can help you find both the spiritual and professional guidance you may need.
Stress Management:
In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries.
Divorce Prevention or Recovery:
Love Must be Tough / Straight Talk - by James Dobson (2-in-1)
This new two-in-one volume contains the classic James Dobson bestsellers Love Must Be Tough and Straight Talk—each loaded with practical, straightforward advice for relationship building. In Love Must Be Tough, Dr. Dobson attacks the root problem of most marital crises—a lack of respect—offering practical help for rekindling mutual respect and mature love. Straight Talk stakes a clear path through the confusion of men's roles, teaching men how to build stable, loving and satisfying relationships with their wives and children. Thousands of lives have been dramatically changed though the principles presented in these essential books which are now together for the first time ever.
Marital:
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate - by Gary Chapman
A seasoned marriage counselor says people feel most loved in a marriage in one of five ways: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Though we have a primary love language, we can learn a second language so that our spouse's needs are met. It's all about giving a little here and there, and accepting that our spouse's preferred channel may be different from ours. Though the author's life work is based on Christian principles, his ideas and personal style will resonate with people of all faiths and levels of involvement in organized religion. Whether your marriage needs a tune-up or a major overhaul, these are powerful prescriptions delivered by a genial, wise man.
Love Talk: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before - by Dr. Les Parrot
Acclaimed relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott are back with a wonderfully insightful guide for improving the single most important factor in any marriage or love relationship—communication. In Love Talk, the Parrotts help readers discover their and their partners' communication style, and how the two can best interact. In this no-nonsense book, "psychobabble" is translated into easy-to-understand language that clearly teaches couples what they need to do—and not do—for healthy communication. Learn how to take your conversations to a deeper level and engage in the most important conversation you and your partner will ever have. Follow the deep yet simple plan prescribed in Love Talk and begin communicating your way into a happier, healthier, and stronger relationship.
Parents dealing with their children:
Dare to Discipline - by James Dobson
The New Strong Willed Child; Birth Through Adolescence - by James Dobson
America's most trusted parenting expert Dr. Dobson has completely rewritten and updated his classic bestseller, The Strong-Willed Child, for a new generation of parents and teachers. The New Strong-Willed Child follows on the heels of Dr. Dobson's phenomenal bestseller, Bringing Up Boys. It offers practical how-to advice on raising difficult-to-handle children and incorporates the latest research with Dr. Dobson's legendary wit and wisdom. The New Strong-Willed Child is being rushed to press for parents needing help dealing with sibling rivalry, ADHD, low self-esteem and other urgent issues. This book is a must read for parents and teachers struggling to raise up and teach children who are convinced they should be able to live by their own rules!
The Five Love Languages of Children - by Gary Chapman
Two Christian parenting educators describe five ways we can connect with our children: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service. These initiatives, when geared to the preferences of each child, make them feel loved and, thus, more receptive to guidance and redirection when needed. The authors are inspiring writers whose examples and quotes from children and parents are instructive. Gary Chapman's uplifting reading makes the effort that some of these approaches will require seem natural and right. This is a program that helps listeners make their children central in their lives and that provides them with specific tools to stay connected.
The Five Love Languages of Teenagers - by Gary Chapman
Learn to Speak Love in the Language Your Teenager Understands Best. Just like adults, teenagers desperately need to feel that they are loved. Yet communicating this truth to our kids can be challenging, since people naturally give and receive love in distinctand often conflictingways. The fact is, every parent and every teenager speaks one of five different love languages, explains Gary Chapman, Ph.D. However, serious conflicts arise when we find ourselves unaware of, or unprepared to speak, our teenagers particular love language.
Singles:
Sassy, Single and Loving it
Falling in Love for the Right Reasons: How to find Your Soul Mate - by Keith Abraham Neil Warren
Dr. Neil Clark Warren is the mastermind behind eHarmony.com—an Internet matchmaking service that encourages readers to find "true love" rather than a slew of Saturday night dates. His basic shtick is that "broad-based compatibility" is the glue for making a partnership loving and lasting. Falling in Love offers 29 "dimensions of compatibility" to consider before committing to a romantic relationship. His formula is so, well, formulaic, it threatens to take all the mysticism and romance out of finding a soul mate. That’s fine with Warren, who believes that readers who screen partners for compatibility will fare much better than spirit-struck lovers who base commitments on profound immediate attraction.
Suicide:
No Time to Say Goodbye - by Carla Fine
In 1989, the author's husband of 21 years, 44-year-old Harry, a New York City physician who was depressed over the recent deaths of his parents, killed himself with a lethal dose of an anesthetic. Stunned by her loss, Fine (Married to Medicine: An Intimate Portrait of Doctors' Wives) searched in vain for books on how to deal with the suicide of a loved one. In her comprehensive and well-written manual for "suicide survivors," such as herself, she offers advice for those recovering from the suicide of a marital partner, relative or close friend. Drawing on research, interviews with survivors and her own experience, Fine provides insights into living beyond this tragedy including dealing with feelings of guilt and anger, the stigma of suicide and financial and legal problems, and she tells where to get help. She stresses that joining a peer support group is an important coping tool. Although some of the descriptions of suicides make for harrowing reading, the book is a valuable contribution to an overlooked subject.
Standing in the Shadow: Help and Encouragement for Suicide Survivors - by June Cerza Kolf
The end of a precious life has come unnaturally. You may wonder how you can possibly survive your loved oneís suicide. Anger, guilt, hopelessness, and unanswered questions may swirl wildly around in your mind while you try to hang on, searching for a sign that you will come through this trauma in your life.
Seniors:
The Bible Answers Senior Adult Questions - by Elmer L. Gray
Grief:
Why Bad Things Happen to Good People - by Rabbi Harold Kushner
Rarely does a book come along that tackles a perennially difficult human issue with such clarity and intelligence. Harold Kushner, a Jewish rabbi facing his own child's fatal illness, deftly guides us through the inadequacies of the traditional answers to the problem of evil, then provides a uniquely practical and compassionate answer that has appealed to millions of readers across all religious creeds. Remarkable for its intensely relevant real-life examples and its fluid prose, this book cannot go unread by anyone who has ever been troubled by the question, "Why me?"
Family.org (Focus on the Family home Web page)
MarriageCounselingExpert.com (link with book and testimonies on how to save your marriage)
NCCUMC.org (The North Carolina Conference of United Methodist Web Page)
Bible Studies
God's Yellow Pages - This will open in a new window.